


wrapping your lips around a lie

by bookishpanda



Series: Sanders Sides Smut [9]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cheating, Eating out, Fingering, First Time Sex, Happy Ending, Kitchen Counter Sex, M/M, Revenge Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Smut, Switching, blowjob, cheating on your partner, guilt trips, lying, morally wrong conduct, plot heavy, smut heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28155036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishpanda/pseuds/bookishpanda
Summary: What Janus should do is be honest with Remus about the fact that he is a virgin. What Janus chooses to do instead is very bad.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Smut [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059881
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	1. contract

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, Janus and Virgil both agree to do something very morally wrong. As a human being and a writer, I do not condone cheating on your partner or having sex with someone who you know is in a committed relationship. Be honest with your partner about if you are a virgin (or are not a virgin). Do not choose to learn how to have sex with your roommate instead. Do not guilt your roommate into teaching you into having sex. Be open, be honest, and be kind.
> 
> PLEASE read through the additional tags on this fic before reading.

Virgil was seated on the couch of the apartment when the door slammed shut, and Janus stormed in with a bright red face. The anxious man paused the film he was watching,  _ Coraline _ , and stared up at his best friend in confusion. “Everything okay, Jan? I thought you were spending tonight at Remus’ place.”

“Well, I was  _ supposed _ to, but I told him you weren’t feeling well and I had to come take care of you,” Janus explained, shrugging out of his coat and stepping out of his shoes. Virgil’s confused expression deepened.

“Uh, I’m feeling fine, though…? Why did you lie to your boyfriend?” Virgil was familiar with Janus’ need to lie every so often, but he knew that his best friend did so to protect himself. Still, this situation seemed… off. Janus and Remus had been dating for several months, and Virgil thought that everything was going well between them.

“He wanted to have sex,” Janus plopped himself down on the couch next to Virgil, huffing out. Virgil blinked, unsure of what the issue was, so he didn’t say anything and waited for his best friend to continue the story. “See, the issue is… he only likes to bottom. And I told him I don’t mind being on top. Except, the truth is, I don’t know how to do  _ either _ because I’m still a virgin.”

“Ah,” Virgil made a noise of understanding. “And, you lied to him about not being a virgin because…”

“I don’t want to seem inexperienced at my age! I’m 31! I’m about to become a lawyer! Remus has all of this past history and I just… I want to be  _ enough _ for him,” Janus carded his hand through his long hair, sighing. “So, I lied and told him that you were sick, and here we are.”

“You  _ do _ realize that the next time you see him, you’ll be just as inexperienced and as much of a virgin as you are right now, don’t you?” Virgil asked this a bit incredulously. Janus had done some pretty foolish things in the past, despite being the smartest person he knew, but this was definitely the dumbest thing that the almost-lawyer had ever done.

“I have an idea, I think,” Janus pulled his legs under him, then turned his gaze to Virgil. “You teach me.” The anxious man blinked, unsure if he heard Janus right.

“Sorry, wait, let me get this right. Your ‘solution’,” he made air quotation marks with his fingers here, “to not telling your boyfriend that you’re a virgin is… by sleeping with  _ me _ ??” Virgil was sure that he was being pranked. Janus had to know that Virgil wouldn’t feel comfortable being an accomplice in this. This was cheating, and Virgil knew it. Janus  _ had _ to know that. “Jan, you’re kidding, right?”

“You’ve had sex before, lots of times,” Janus started, and when Virgil tried to protest, he kept talking. “I share a wall with you. And, I don’t know, it sounds like whatever you’re doing makes your partners feel really good. Especially Logan. You could teach me. So I can make Remus feel good.” Virgil inhaled deeply, teetering on the edge of wanting to yell at Janus or go hide in his room. He chose neither option.

“Janus, I’m not going to fuck you or be fucked by you, you’re with Remus. It would be cheating,” he explained, and Janus pursed his lips in deep thought.

“It’s not cheating if there are no feelings involved,” Janus offered, and Virgil almost threw a pillow at his best friend. He noticed the look that Virgil was giving him and shrugged. “It’s just you teaching me. I’ve taught you lots of things.”

“You teaching me how to skateboard in middle school is  _ not _ the same thing as me fucking you so that you are no longer a virgin,” Virgil’s hands were flapping between them, he couldn’t believe that they were having this conversation. Janus twisted his fingers together, a frown plastered on his face, and Virgil sighed. “Janus, just be honest with him. Tell him the truth.” 

“I can’t. I’ll let him down, I won’t be enough for him, and he’ll leave me. I need to be good at this,” he buried his face in his hands, and Virgil felt pity for his best friend. He rested his hand on the small of Janus’ back, making the smaller man jump. “Virgil,  _ please _ . I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important to me.”

“We’d have to set boundaries. Rules. Okay?”

“Okay.”

-

And so the two sat at their dining table, a legal pad in front of Janus as they discussed the rules and boundaries that they’d be following during this. “I just got tested last week and I’m clean, but we are going to use condoms.” Janus scrawled this as Virgil spoke, his hands a little shaky. “What about kissing?”

“I’m fine with it,” Janus said quietly, and Virgil nodded.  _ Kissing okay _ , Janus wrote. “Anything else?”

“It’ll be a one-time thing. I’ll show you how to top by starting off on top, and then we will switch halfway through so you can learn by… doing,” Virgil rolled his eyes at the unintentional pun. Janus smirked and wrote this down. “We need to both be clean and showered beforehand. And… there’s one more thing I want you to do.”

“What is it?” Janus asked, his eyes lifting up to view his best friend through the hair that had fallen in front of the anxious man’s face. 

“You tell Remus that I’m the one you’ve slept with in the past. That way…” Virgil sighed, running a hand through his purple locks. “That way you don’t have to lie about who you’ve had sex with.”

“Okay. If he asks… I will tell him.”

-

Virgil was pacing nervously in his bedroom in just his boxers. He had already showered and Janus was now showering, and Virgil had gotten everything out of his drawers that they’d need: condoms, lube, and cleaning cloths for after. Still, he had a sick feeling about everything that was happening; if he was in Remus’ place… he wouldn’t want to be with Janus.

Virgil glanced towards his dresser; photos of him with Janus over the years were framed on top of it or tacked onto the wall behind it. They’d been friends as long as Virgil could remember, and Janus was the family that he always needed around. Janus had done so much to help Virgil over the years, and the anxious man knew he owed it to his best friend to help him with this.

And yet he couldn’t shake that feeling of dread and anxiety. He fluffed pillows, setting them up in a way that would help with angles and comfort, and then fidgeted more, deciding to lay a few towels down on the bed. By the time Janus had finished his shower and entered Virgil’s bedroom, the latter was perched on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands as his body shook with nerves. Janus sighed, stepping closer to his best friend, sitting beside him.

“Virge… we don’t need to do this. I’ll ask Patton or just tell Remus, it’s clear that you’re not strong enough to do something like this—” Janus’ words caused something to flip in Virgil’s brain, a mixture of feeling guilty if he  _ doesn’t _ do this, and a mixture of him wanting it to be  _ him _ doing this, no one else. And maybe Janus was  _ trying _ to guilt him into this, but Virgil decided that he didn’t care anymore. No one knew Janus quite the same way as Virgil did, and this could just be another thing he knew that no one else did. He lifted his head from his hands and turned to meet Janus’ eyes, and then his hands were on the cheeks of the smaller man and their lips were pushed together, a blend of neediness and nervousness but Janus groaned into the kiss, his hands quickly finding spots on Virgil’s hips to grasp at, pulling the pair closer together. 

In that moment, Janus decided that kissing Virgil was easy. It was simple and there was no expectation other than passion. Virgil was gentle with Janus, every movement was thought out and kind. Kissing Remus wasn't easy. He was messy and grabby and sucked hard on Janus’ lower lip. Remus was needy, abrupt, and loud. He wasn’t sure if kissing one was better than kissing the other; all he knew was that they were different.

Janus let Virgil take control; the anxious man moved slowly, kissing down Janus’ cheek and his neck, and Janus let out a low whine when Virgil sucked on his collarbone lightly. Virgil’s hands trailed down Janus’ sides, pulling and squeezing at the skin a bit, and Janus shivered. “Virgil, I’m a bit ticklish there,” he warned, his voice low. He liked the feeling of Virgil’s cooled hands on his hot body, the way Virgil’s lips seemed to be able to leave marks of fire all up and down his chest, and he wondered if it always felt that way when someone’s fingers grazed along your ribcage, when their breath ghosted over your nipples. 

Virgil finally brushed his fingertips against the growing bulge in Janus’ boxers, causing the smaller man to buck his hips upwards, a moan ripping loose from his throat. If he felt like he was on fire and on edge this whole time, how could he last through this whole thing? Still, Virgil’s movements didn’t cease; instead, he shifted them so that Janus was laying down, pillows underneath his lower back, and kissed around the elastic of Janus’ boxers. 

“How are you doing up there?” Virgil asked, peering up at Janus through his fringe. Janus whined, his head thrown back on the pillows, nodding. Virgil took this as a sign to keep going, so he hooked his thumbs into the elastic of Janus’ boxers and pulled them off, then spread the smaller man’s legs apart, settling between them. He pressed a kiss to the base of Janus’ cock, causing the man beneath him to squirm and his breathing to quicken. Virgil smirked a bit at this and kissed further up until he reached the tip, wrapping his lips around it. Janus’ hips thrust up, pushing more of himself into Virgil’s mouth, and the taller man didn’t protest; he took Janus all the way in, sucking and running his tongue along the veins. Janus gripped the sheets tightly, unable to keep the moans coming from his mouth.

“Virgil, I’m so close, please—” Janus was sure he’d explode from the amount of pleasure he felt, his toes curling so tightly they might lose all circulation, his knuckles white from grabbing the sheets so hard. And just before Janus lost all control, Virgil sat back, a smirk on his face as drool dribbled down his chin. “Fuck you,” Janus hissed, his high drifting away, and Virgil shrugged.

“In a bit, but I’m gonna need that lube and a condom first,” he said calmly, and Janus pried his grip from the sheets to hand Virgil a condom and the bottle of lube. Virgil gently spread Janus’ legs a bit more, bending his knees back so that he had a clear view of Janus’ hole. “Let me know if this hurts, okay? I’ll try to be as gentle as possible.” Janus nodded, watching as Virgil spread the lube over a few of his fingers, then poured some on Janus’ hole, causing the small man to shiver. 

Virgil rubbed his fingers against the entrance, then dipped his first one in, keeping it in place for a few moments so Janus could adjust. Once he felt Janus relax a bit underneath him, Virgil began moving his finger around a bit more, then decided to add in his second finger. Janus’ back arched, his hands gripping the sheets again, and Virgil froze, watching until his best friend’s face relaxed. Finally, it did, and Virgil pushed his fingers in deeper, scissoring them a bit to help with the stretch.

“Oh, fuck, that feels good,” Janus whined out, his breathing heavy again. Virgil smirked again, pressing his third finger in to join the other two, and worked to stretch Janus a bit more. He pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the towel beneath them, and opened the condom packet, sliding it over his bright red cock. He applied lube over it, then lined up.

“Hey, look at me for a sec,” he waited until Janus met his eyes. “You okay?” Janus didn’t think he could speak coherently anymore, so he just nodded. Virgil kept his eyes focused on Janus as he pushed in slowly, filling Janus up. When he bottomed out, he let out a low moan, and Janus groaned.

“Move, please, god, Virgil, I—” Janus ached to feel more, to feel closer, and Virgil listened, thrusting at a slow pace at first, just in case Janus was still tense, but the smaller man’s face looked euphoric, so he started thrusting faster. “Shit, fuck, this feels amazing,” he moaned, his hands reaching up to grab Virgil’s face and bring it down to kiss him.

Panic began to settle in Virgil’s chest but he ignored it, instead picking up the pace as their kissing grew hungrier, their breathing ragged. “Your turn,” Virgil started to say, but Janus shook his head, wrapping his legs around Virgil’s hips tightly.

“No, please, keep going,” Janus whined, and Virgil couldn’t bring himself to stop or switch so that Janus could top, and he pounded harder into Janus, finally hitting his prostate. “Oh, fuck!” With a few more thrusts, Janus came hard between their bodies, his whole being shaking with pleasure. Virgil pulled out, pumping his cock a few more times before he came into the condom. He lowered Janus’ legs, then removed the condom, tying it and setting it to the side. Janus’ eyes were shut tight and he was smiling, his chest heaving, and Virgil pressed kisses to his chest before cleaning up Janus’ cum with the towel. He remained silent as he laid down beside Janus, the only movement being their hands slowly twining together. “Thank you,” Janus whispered sleepily.

-

Janus had become very twitchy every time he was in the living room or kitchen of the apartment. When he saw Virgil out of the corner of his eye, he’d flinch, his mind racing back to when their bodies were twined together and when the only sounds were their heavy breathing and sweet whispers. 

It plagued Janus’ every waking moment. He dove into his work, studying hard for his exams and taking on more hours at his internship. When Virgil was out, Janus would open the kitchen drawer that their “sex lesson” contract was put in and scan over the lines they had written together and signed at the bottom, and he would run the pad of his thumb over Virgil’s messy signature. He’d lay in bed at night, trailing his fingers along his ribcage and sides the way that Virgil did, he’d rest his fingers on his lips and remember the way it felt to have his best friend’s kisses on his skin. As the marks that Virgil left on his skin faded, he wished desperately for more to appear. But he knew that they wouldn’t.

Janus tried to forget the fact that he had gotten no practice topping. Virgil made him feel so good, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to make Remus feel the same way. 

He decided that there would only be one good way to figure that out. It was late, but he didn’t hesitate to clamber out of bed and towards the kitchen, dressed only in an oversized shirt and boxers. He opened the drawer where the contract resided, and then spun around, intending to go into Virgil’s room to renegotiate. When he turned around, though, Virgil was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

“I heard you opening drawers and got concerned,” he explained, the shadows under his eyes deep. He was only in his boxers, and Janus blinked, trying not to notice the muscles of his abdomen. “What are you doing?”

“We didn’t follow all of the things we agreed to on our contract,” Janus said, eyes drifting to his own bare feet. “I didn't get to top.” Virgil cleared his throat a bit, and Janus didn't dare to look up.

“You didn't want to. You wanted to finish with me inside of you, didn't you?” Virgil’s feet appeared in Janus’ view, and he dared to look up to see Virgil staring down at him, pupils blown. Janus whined, dropping the contract, not paying attention to the way it fluttered to the tiled floor, and wrapped his arms around Virgil’s neck, pulling him down for a needy kiss. Virgil slid his arms around Janus’ waist, smiling into the kiss and letting himself be pushed against the counters. Janus wasted no time in kissing down Virgil’s neck, sucking hickies and leaving dark red marks along the pale skin. 

“Is that such a bad thing?” he murmured against Virgil’s skin. “It felt so good, but now I want to feel what it’s like inside of you,” Virgil let out a moan at Janus’ words, and the smaller man smirked. Virgil hopped up onto the counter while Janus ran to grab lube and a condom. Then he pressed himself between Virgil’s legs, peppering his shoulders with kisses. He kissed down Virgil’s chest, leaving as many marks as possible on him, then slid Virgil’s boxers down and off. He glanced up at Virgil, eyes blown, and swore he could be happy forever as long as Virgil gave him that look. It was full of lust and adoration, and Janus kept their eyes locked as he wrapped his lips around Virgil’s tip, causing his best friend to thrust his hips up needily.

“Shit,” Virgil whined, throwing his head back, accidentally banging it against the cabinet behind him, and he let out a laugh, rubbing the back of his head. Janus pulled off, concern etched on his face, and Virgil glanced down at him again. “Keep going, I’m okay. Feels good.” He didn’t want to specify that the pain made everything feel better, that might scare Janus away, so he just tangled some of his fingers in Janus’ hair, pushing him back down onto his cock. “More, please." Janus took more of Virgil’s cock into his mouth, sucking and licking the way the taller man had to him, and Virgil tugged at Janus’ hair. “Get on with it, fuck.” 

Janus peered up at him, smirking, then spread Virgil’s legs, helping the man get his feet up onto the counter so a good angle could be achieved. He lubed up his fingers then pressed one against Virgil’s entrance before pushing it in, loving how tight Virgil was around him. He pushed his second finger in, scissoring the way Virgil had, and couldn’t wait until he was buried to the hilt in his best friend. He knew it would feel amazing. “Two’s enough, please, Jan,” Virgil was all moans and gasps, and Janus nodded, pulling his fingers out before sliding out of his boxers and t-shirt. He put on the condom and then lubed up, lining up with Virgil, whose hands were once again twined in Janus’ hair. 

Janus pushed in slowly at first, and Virgil panted, scooting as close to the edge of the counter as possible, pulling Janus in deeper. Once Janus bottomed out, he let out a low moan. “Holy shit, you feel so good,” He muttered, burying his face in Virgil’s chest. “Shit.”

“Move, please,” Virgil whined, and Janus snapped his hips, setting a rhythmic pace. He angled one way, and Virgil’s back arched, his head hitting the cabinets again, but Janus’ pace didn’t slow, and Virgil’s moans increased in volume and intensity. “Touch me, Jan, I-” Janus’ hand snaked between their bodies and he began stroking Virgil at the same pace as his thrusts, and then Virgil came hard, spilling onto Janus’ hand and their chests, tightening around Janus. With that, Janus came hard into the condom, panting hard as he rested his head on Virgil’s shoulder. He slid out, removed the condom, tied it, and tossed it into the trash, then licked Virgil’s cum off of the taller man’s chest.

“Taste so good,” he murmured, and Virgil shivered under his touch. “You felt so good, Virge.”

“You’re a natural,” Virgil breathed out, letting his legs wrap around Janus as their lips met tiredly and needily.  _ Fuck _ , Virgil thought. He wanted more of this. He needed it more than he had ever needed anything else.


	2. destruction

Virgil stood outside Janus’ bedroom, hope in his heart, the contract in his hands that he kept behind his back, as he fully intended to rip it apart in a gesture of romance. He opened the door, peering in, only to find Janus getting dressed in nice clothes. Virgil cleared his throat, and Janus turned to look at him, a smile on his face. “Hey, Jan. Where are you going?”

“To Remus’ place. Date night,” he explained, and Virgil felt his heart sink. He felt idiotic for thinking that having sex twice would change anything, that Janus would leave Remus for him, that… they could find out where things could go. 

“You’re gonna be spending the night there, I assume?” Virgil asked, glancing down so he didn’t have to look at the way Janus’ black pants hugged his thighs, the way the yellow button-up brought out the brightness in his brown eyes. 

“Yeah, I’ll be back tomorrow morning or afternoon, I think,” Janus said softly, noticing the way Virgil’s body language changed, the way he wasn’t looking at him anymore. He noticed that Virgil’s hands were behind his back, as if he were holding something, but said nothing. “Before I go, I just… wanted to say thank you. For everything that you did to help me.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Virgil mumbled, and Janus had to bite his lip to keep the surprise from rising out of his throat. “Glad I could help.” With that, Virgil spun on his heels, left the room, and went into his own room, the door closing behind him with a  _ thud _ . Janus stared at the gaping hole that was left in his doorway by his best friend, and felt a similar hole begin to worm its way into his heart. 

Virgil threw himself onto the bed, crumpling the contract up in his hands, tossing it so it fell just under the bed. He grabbed his phone off of his nightstand and dialed the first number he could think of. If he’d come to regret this, fine, but he needed to do  _ something _ .

-

Janus fidgeted on the couch the entire time they were watching the movie. He wasn’t sure if he was nervous about doing this; it made no sense. He’d thought long about this, he’d even fucked his best friend so that he knew how to make Remus feel good. And yet…

And yet. Janus was still unsure. He’d suggested the movie to calm both of their nerves, but the longer the film was on, the more handsy Remus got; his lips latched onto Janus’ neck, and Janus stifled whines and moans to drag things out longer. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy what was being done to his skin, it was just… not what he liked.

Virgil knew what he liked. Virgil knew the spots where Janus was too sensitive, where he loved to be poked and prodded at. Remus just grabbed and nipped and made Janus gasp out, but not in the way that Virgil made him gasp. Not that way at all. 

Still, Janus let Remus drag him into his bedroom, past Logan’s room. Janus tried not to imagine how many times Virgil had been tossed onto Logan’s bed, their bodies meeting like a tumbling tree meets the stable ground. 

In the present, Remus stripped rather anticlimactically, and Janus followed suit, eyes focused on the way Remus laid back on the bed, his cock throbbing against his belly. He was so open, so ready for Janus.

And Janus was not open. He was hesitant, even as he leaned over Remus’ body, their lips meeting like ice and fire, and either Janus would melt under the pressure or Remus would get extinguished; neither option sounded optimal, but Janus bore through it, his lips trailing down Remus’ neck as he ground his hips down towards Remus’, their cocks brushing together, both of them letting out low moans.

“Jan, please,” Remus gasped out, his back arching and hips thrusting upward for more contact. He leaned over to grab lube and a condom from off of his nightstand and Janus eyed it, perhaps willing the items to combust so that they wouldn’t go through with it. 

No such miracle happened, so Janus took the bottle of lube into his hand, pouring some onto his fingers, watching in almost awe at how far Remus was able to spread his legs, at how open he already appeared to be. Janus rubbed his fingers against Remus’ entrance, the man beneath him whining at the touch, and Janus plunged two fingers in at once, causing Remus to moan loudly, nails gripping into Janus’ shoulder so tightly it hurt. 

“Fuck, so good, please Jan,” Remus’ head was thrown back against the pillows so Janus moved his fingers in and out quickly, scissoring them to aid with the spread before adding a third finger and pushing in deeper. He prodded against Remus’ walls before finding the bundle of nerves that made precum leak from Remus’ cock. “I’m ready for you, please, baby, please can I ride you?” Janus nodded, and he flipped the two, Remus straddling Janus’ hips. 

Remus tore open the condom wrapper and slid it over Janus’ cock, then, instead of applying lubricant, he leaned down and wrapped his lips around Janus, slicking up the condom with his saliva. Janus’ hips bucked upwards, a moan ripping from his lungs, before Remus pulled away far too quickly and repositioned, his ass hovering above Janus’ cock. Slowly, he sank down, Janus in awe at how tight Remus was around him. He moved his hands to grip at Remus’ hips tightly, watching as Remus’ ass met his own hips. Remus leaned down, his tongue swirling around one of Janus’ nipples, his hips beginning to rock against Janus. In that moment, Janus remembered the ghosting of Virgil’s breath against his chest, and decided it was not the same with Remus.

“Fuck, so tight,” Janus moaned out, his hips thrusting up against Remus, his fingers most definitely leaving bruises on Remus’ hips. Still, where Virgil felt warm and cozy to be buried in, Remus was  _ too _ warm, and he kept squeezing his muscles around Janus’ cock, making him think that he’d snap in half. It was almost painful, the speed at which Remus bounced on top of Janus, his voice reaching new highs as he clenched even tighter around Janus until he came hard, shooting his come across Janus’ chest, some even managing to splatter on Janus’ face. Remus pulled up and off, collapsing to the side, and Janus frowned, still painfully hard. “Re…”

“Sorry, exhausted,” Remus muttered, and Janus wanted to scream. His cock was red and throbbing under the condom, growing more uncomfortable, and so he peeled it off, staring at his boyfriend. “Why didn’t you cum?”

“Seriously? You’re blaming  _ me _ ?” Janus was about ready to get up and storm out of the apartment, and  _ maybe _ he was overreacting because he wasn’t as in it, but sex is a give and take, not just a take. And Remus held Janus’ release right in front of him, then tore it away, leaving him squirming and anything but satiated.

“Did you orgasm with your previous partners?” Remus’ voice was low and raspy, he was still catching his breath and Janus felt the question hit him like a brick. With Virgil, he came easily, he was so into it. And with Remus… would it always be this way?

“Yes,” Janus admitted, hoping that Remus wouldn’t ask who or when or where. If he did… Janus would need to keep his promise to Virgil. “But, Remus, they… they gave in return.” Janus considered jacking himself off to finish up, but it wasn’t the same. It’d never be the same as when Virgil guided him to his orgasm.

“You weren’t even that into it,” Remus’ voice had taken on an accusatory tone, and Janus wanted to accuse him right back, but that wouldn’t be fair to his boyfriend. Because Janus knew that Remus was right. Janus was lost in the thoughts of Virgil’s touch and if he had been more into it he would have been able to grow closer to his release, not teetering on the edge of it because something he  _ desired _ ,  _ wanted _ , was missing.  _ Virgil  _ was missing. 

“You’re right,” Janus admitted finally, and Remus sighed, his hand carding through his hair. “Remus, when you brought up sex a few weeks ago… I was a virgin. And I was  _ so _ scared of not being enough for you that… I asked Virgil to teach me. I didn’t intend for this to happen, but, somewhere along the way—”

“You know, I’m such an idiot,” Remus was laughing, and Janus sat up, watching Remus with confused eyes. “Logan said. He said that you two have danced around your feelings all your lives, and that he knew it whenever he fucked Virgil. That those feelings would rise up sometime, but it would take something to do it.” Remus sighed. “I really wanted you, Janus. But Logan was right. You were never in this, you’ve never been in it with _anyone_ , and neither has Virgil.” Janus didn’t respond, he wasn’t sure what to say or think about this revelation. “I thought I could get your love, but you only have love for him. Please leave, Janus.”

-

Virgil opened the door to see Logan standing there, jacket slung over his shoulder, a smirk on his face. “Hey, V, I thought you’d never call after last time.” He stepped in and slid out of his shoes, hanging his jacket over one of the chairs. “Plus, I needed an excuse to get out of the house anyways; Remus and Janus are—”

“Yeah, I  _ know _ , just shut up and kiss me,” Virgil’s eyes were dark, and his tone surprised Logan, but the taller man didn’t hesitate to grab Virgil roughly, their lips slamming together like the force of two waves crashing together onto a beach. Virgil whined into Logan’s mouth, gripping at his clothes and wanting to tug them off. If only he could snap his fingers and have them both be naked. Instead, he pulled Logan by his tie and the two stumbled, Virgil backwards, towards his bedroom. Logan’s lips attached to his neck, leaving dark marks as Virgil pushed Logan’s shirt off of his shoulders. Suddenly, Virgil was thrown onto the bed, and Logan hovered above him, darkness in his eyes. Virgil smirked, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck, pulling him closer. “Wreck me.”

“As you wish,” Logan murmured, moving quickly to peel off Virgil’s shirt and toy with the hem of his jeans and boxers. Once Virgil was clear of clothing, Logan removed his own clothes, then dug around in Virgil’s nightstand where he knew the lube and condoms were. He grabbed the items then hovered above Virgil again, watching as his long hair splayed on the wrinkled sheets and his eyes were blown. Logan’s lips reattached to Virgil’s collarbone as his hands made quick work of spreading Virgil’s legs and tilting his knees back, the lube bottle popping open and the slick of lube on his fingers like relief to Virgil’s ears. Logan leaned back, glancing at the several marks he had left on Virgil’s pale skin, and finally plunged two of his fingers into Virgil, causing the other man to squirm and moan out.

“Fuck, yes, please, more,” he moaned, and Logan obeyed, pushing his fingers in deeper, thrusting them at a rate that even surprised him. He added a third finger, stretching Virgil even more, and brushed against the bundle of nerves. “Shit. Fuck me, Lo.  _ Please _ .” Logan obliged, pulling his fingers out and sliding the condom on, then lubing up. “Be rough, make me cry, make me cum ten times I don’t fucking care just make it so I can’t think or—” his words were cut off by a strangled moan as Logan thrust himself into Virgil fully, pushing the bottom’s knees even farther back to allow for a better angle. 

“Damn, so good, V,” Logan panted, his hands gripping Virgil’s thighs as tightly as he thrust as deep and hard and fast as possible. “I’m not going to last,” he whined, head thrown back as he moved one of his hands to grip Virgil’s cock tightly, jerking it off with incredible dexterity. Virgil’s back arched and he came hard, cum spurting between their bodies. Logan came shortly after, buried as deep as possible in Virgil. “Fuck.” Virgil whined when Logan pulled out, and the top collapsed next to him, both of their breathing ragged. 

“Thanks. I needed that.” Virgil tried to ignore the panic that was beginning to rise in his throat. He wanted to ignore it. But all he could think of was he wanted to be with Janus, wanted to feel Janus’ lips instead of Logan’s, wanted to be buried inside of Janus with nothing keeping them apart. But that possibility had been torn away from them both. Virgil watched with lidded eyes as Logan slowly redressed, his face and chest still flushed red. “Want to eat something before you go?”

“If you’re offering, sure,” Logan replied, and Virgil nodded, cleaning off and then slipping into some lounge pants. “Maybe I could stay the night? I don’t exactly want to go home if they’re…” Logan’s sentence trailed off, as his eyes landed on the balled up contract. He leaned over, picking it up and smoothing it out.

“Logan, put that down, please—” Virgil tried lunging towards Logan, who just backed up, eyes scanning over the paper. “Let me explain, please, you don’t understand.”

“I wonder if this is it,” Logan mused quietly, and Virgil’s eyes narrowed at him. “See, I have this theory... You always turn down my offers of dating and taking things further. And I wondered…” Logan’s eyes lifted to meet Virgil’s again, the anxious man’s face almost… melancholic. “I wondered what would be the catalyst to you two finally getting your shit together.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s with Remus. He went to go fuck Remus. And so now I’m done.” Virgil interrupted, turning away and heading to the kitchen, Logan on his heels. Virgil didn’t want to place any of his thoughts towards Janus, or Remus, or whatever the two were doing. He stood in front of the open fridge, letting the cool air wash over his warm body. Logan came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Virgil’s waist and pressing kisses to his neck.

“You still have me, you know. My offer still stands, Virgil,” he murmured softly, and Virgil tensed up. They’d discussed making their relationship more serious and romantic in the past. But something always kept Virgil from accepting, whether it was because he still had hope for Janus to love him back or because he knew of Logan’s feelings for Remus. But now… “We could make it work. I could love you. You could learn to love me.”


	3. rebuilding

Janus slammed the door, the tears hadn’t ceased, and he shrugged out of his coat before realizing that an unknown pair of shoes was by the door. Except they weren’t so unknown; they were black shiny loafers, and he knew exactly who it was. Logan. He slipped out of his own shoes and overheard talking in the kitchen. 

“We could make it work. I could love you. You could learn to love me,” Logan was speaking to Virgil, and when Janus peeked in, he saw the pair standing in front of the fridge, Logan’s arms draped over Virgil, who stood shirtless and was covered in bruises and love marks. 

“It wouldn’t be fair to either of us to do that, Lo,” Virgil responded. Janus’ hands balled into fists and his jaw clenched, waiting to hear more. “It would be the easy way out, and maybe someday we will both be desperate enough for that, but… I don’t love you, and you don’t love me. Not in that way. It would be  _ so  _ easy to, but… it wouldn’t be real.” Janus watched as Logan buried his face deeper into Virgil’s neck, and cringed. Virgil spun around in Logan’s arms, about to kiss him again, but spotted Janus. “What are you doing home?” Virgil asked, making Logan spin around, eyes narrowing upon seeing Janus. “I thought you said that you wouldn’t be home until tomorrow.”

“Oh,  _ please _ , don’t let me ruin whatever is going on here. Remus and I broke up, I’m here, and I need to shower,” Janus practically spat this out, but Virgil saw through the act, saw the tears welling in the corner of his best friend’s eyes. 

“You… broke up?” Logan’s voice seemed so small when he asked, and he fished his phone out of his pocket. “Shit. He’s called me four times. I have to go.” He glanced at Virgil, but saw that his fuckmate only had eyes for Janus, and nodded in understanding and acceptance. He left the apartment quickly, the slamming of the door not moving Virgil and Janus from their staring contest. 

“Why did you break up?” Virgil asked, twisting his fingers together. He hopped up to sit on one of the counters and his eyes followed Janus, who sat at the dining table, head in his hands. Virgil had a sickening feeling that he knew the answer to his own question, but wanted to hear it from Janus.

“I didn’t enjoy the sex,” Janus said plainly. Virgil carded a hand through his hair, waiting for more explanation, but it was several moments before Janus spoke up again. “He accused me of not being into it, which… was true. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Virgil. So I told him everything, and we broke up. But then I come back to find you with Logan, and I wonder if it was worth it to tell Remus. It hurt me to see that, Virgil, I thought we had something—” Virgil couldn’t handle it anymore, he jumped from the counter and his voice was shaking and loud, causing Janus to look up at him in surprise.

“You think it was easy for  _ me _ ?? To see you all excited and dressed up to go and fuck Remus? Jan, I wanted to tear that goddamned contract apart and then take  _ you  _ apart, kiss by kiss, stroke by stroke,” Virgil was shaking harder than he ever had before; it was not because of the cool air that had settled over his bare skin. He wanted to tear his skin off to clear it of the marks that Logan had left on his body. “When I saw you like that, of  _ course  _ I snapped. Logan was the first person I thought of.”

“You… what?” Janus was sure he was dreaming, all of this was too much and he struggled to stand from the chair, stepping towards Virgil. “Explain it to me simply, please…”

“I’ve had feelings for you for a long time. Logan knows that. He kept, shit,” Virgil looked down, shaking his head, his emotions starting to overwhelm him and his breathing speeding up too much. “He kept offering to love me, to be mine, because he has had feelings for Remus, and you two… just ignored us both. I came so close to accepting his offer, but… I never could do it. It wouldn’t be fair to Logan or to me.” Virgil remembered the first time he had slept with Logan, how he cried afterwards in Logan’s arms about how he loved Janus, and how he’d never get to have him, and how Logan promised that he’d always be there to love him, if he needed it. 

Janus inhaled sharply, standing in front of Virgil but making no move to touch him. It was all too much, too sudden. He was still covered in Remus’ marks and Virgil was bruised, the imprints of Logan’s lips in direct contrast to the soft, pale skin. Rushing into things would not be smart, and yet Janus couldn’t stop himself from pressing one of his hands against Virgil’s face, pulling him to look at him directly. “Would you accept me, Virge, even after everything? After all of this time?” Perhaps it was what they had been heading towards their whole lives, ever since those days in middle school, when Janus taught Virgil how to skateboard, their hands linking when Virgil fell off and Janus helped him get up. 

“I’ve been lonely for so long,” Virgil started, his hands reaching out to take Janus’ free one. His fingers were deftly rubbing against Janus’, and he took a deep breath. “It’s like there was something in the depths of my body that was missing all of this time, and… when I was with you, Janus, I began to feel...  _ full _ , for the first time in my life.” 

“There’s a but coming, isn’t there?” Janus asked quietly, earning a raised eyebrow from Virgil. “It’s just, the way you’re talking, it sounds like you’re about to break my heart, you know? And if you are going to do that, just do it.” Janus wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear what Virgil’s answer was, but he knew it was inevitable, as much as anything else they’d ever done or said to each other.

“I can’t just… jump in as if all of this… hasn’t happened. I want to jump, I want to throw myself into your arms, I want it more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my whole life,” Virgil chewed on his lower lip, hoping the tears that pricked at his eyes would stay there, because if he cried… he’d be weak. “We need to go slow. Snail’s pace. Start off still sleeping in our own beds, only kissing when we’re ready… as if we were dating. And then… when it makes sense… we can move forward from there.”

-

Logan opened the door to the apartment only to find it quiet, save for the sound of the shower running. He discarded his shoes and coat, then padded down the hallway to the bathroom, poking his head in. Remus was sitting on the floor of the shower, knees to his chest and his face buried in his arms, and he was crying. Logan could tell because of the way the man’s body shook, the sounds that reverberated against the tiles of the shower. 

“Re…” Logan entered fully, closing the door behind him. He stepped into the shower, turning off the water, then nearly had to force Remus to his feet. “Come on, let’s get you dried off.” He grabbed a towel and began drying his best friend off, who just stood there, staring forward. “What can I do for you?”

“You were right,” Remus said weakly, reaching out to grip Logan’s arm tightly, trying to stabilize himself. “I mean, it’s  _ you _ , of course you were right, but I wish that I had listened to you before. I just… wanted to feel special, you know?”

“You  _ are _ special, Re. Always have been,” Logan rose back up from drying off Remus’ legs, and their eyes met, despite Remus’ dripping hair flopping onto his face. “I’ve always thought you deserved the whole world, and…” he glanced down, trying to decide the next words to say. “I could give you the world, Remus.” 

Remus brought his fingers up to hold Logan’s chin, tilting the glasses-clad man’s face upward, then leaned forward so their lips met needily, Remus wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck. “Give me everything, Lo,” he murmured, and Logan nodded in return, pulling Remus out of the bathroom, his clothing being pulled off along the way. They landed on Logan’s bed, hands wandering as Remus gripped their cocks together, jerking them both off until they were gasping and coming hard between their bodies, each other’s names forced from their lungs like breaths they had been holding for their whole lives.

-

Janus closed the door gently behind him, wanting to fall back against it in exhaustion. Instead, he shrugged out of his coat and out of his shoes, listening out for Virgil. He went through the living room and peeked into the kitchen, but Virgil wasn’t there, so he went back through the living room and down the hallway, noticing Virgil’s door was closed. He pursed his lips in thought and approached the door, hearing gasps and grunts. Janus’ hand lingered over the handle to the door, then he decided to swing it open, only to find Virgil squirming on the bed, his cock leaking and red in his hands. 

“Oh, fuck,” Virgil’s hand slowed and his eyes widened upon seeing Janus enter. “Jan, I thought you’d be back later, I have been so needy, I’m sorry—”  
“Shh, don’t apologize,” Janus pulled his shirt off and dropped his pants and underwear, approaching the bed. “God, it’s been such a rough day, let’s do this, now please,” Virgil nodded quickly, watching with wide eyes as Janus finally hovered over him, their lips meeting roughly, Virgil thrusting his hips up to brush against Janus.

“Fuck me, please, shit, Janus, I want you to take out your exhaustion on me,” Virgil’s breathing was speeding up and he squirmed under each of Janus’ touches, as his hands trailed down Virgil’s sides. “I don’t want to wait anymore,” he groaned. Janus dipped his head down, sucking and kissing against Virgil’s collarbone.

“Lube,” Janus gasped, and Virgil nodded to the bottle on the nightstand, his breathing ragged. Janus leaned back on his feet and took the bottle in his hands, spreading the lube over his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it a bit. Virgil took that as an indication to roll onto his stomach, settling onto his forearms and his knees. Janus felt his heart leap, and his clean hand rubbed against Virgil’s back and ass, leaning forward until he was pressing kisses into his hips. He pushed his first finger past the ring of muscles, and Virgil  _ keened _ . 

“Fuck, Jan, your fingers, so good-” he encouraged Janus to keep going by pushing his hips back, and his partner responded by adding his second finger, curling the pair and then scissoring them in a tortuous rhythm. “Please- I’m ready, take me,  _ Janus _ …” Janus removed his fingers, then poured a decent amount of lube over his twitching cock. He gripped Virgil’s hips tightly, hoping and knowing that he would leave bruises, and pushed in slowly, moans coming from both of their bodies. Once he was fully inside of Virgil, he leaned over the man, his lips reattaching to Virgil’s neck.

“You feel so good, baby. So tight, so warm, I could stay inside of you forever,” Janus whispered with a sultry tone, and Virgil whined, his hips pushing back against Janus. “So needy, V. It’s okay, I’ll take care of you,” he promised, biting down on Virgil’s most sensitive spot as he pulled out and then slammed back inside of Virgil, angling it just where he needed. 

“Fuck!” Virgil’s moan was nearly a scream, and his back arched, his legs and arms trembling, “more, Jan, please!” Janus smirked against the bare skin of Virgil’s back, and sped his thrusts up, shifting the angle and rotating his hips to ensure maximum pleasure for both of them. “Oh, fuck, I’m not gonna last-”

“Me neither, baby,” Janus purred, one of his hands reaching around to grip Virgil’s leaking cock. He stroked it languidly, and the triad of sensations that Virgil was experiencing pushed him over the edge until he came hard over Janus’ hands, his vision nearly blacking out. Janus didn’t slow down, even though Virgil had tightened around him, and after a few thrusts he buried himself deep and came hard, the warmth blooming into Virgil.

Eventually, Janus slid his softened cock out of his lover, and gently turned the man over, making sure to avoid the cum spots on the bed as they settled into each other’s arms. Neither of them spoke for a while, allowing their breathing and heartbeats to slow back into a natural rhythm, and Janus let his fingers graze along Virgil’s skin. Finally, Virgil spoke up, his voice hoarse and low, but content, “I love you, Janus. I know… things are new, and fresh, and we still need to figure some things out, but, fuck. I love you, and I don’t want this to end or stop, I can’t lose you-” Virgil was interrupted by Janus’ soft lips against his, and he leaned into the touch, sighing happily.

“If I didn’t kiss you, I knew you’d never stop,” Janus whispered, his forehead pressed against Virgil’s. “I love you so much, Virgil.”


End file.
